Silver, red, and purple balloons

Almost One Year of Being a Mum

My baby boy will be one year old in over a couple of weeks. Wait, how, what, when? Yep, he’ll officially be a toddler and I’ll be wondering where the last year went.

I never knew how much stronger I could be until I gave birth to Freddy. The light in my life, the littlest person with the biggest smile, he is our (mine and Danny’s) everything. I’ll be honest, sometimes, I’ve woken up and wondered if I have the strength to deal with whatever the day will bring. But no matter what, I’m reminded that I am a mummy and I can do this.

Motherhood brings a whole lot of changes. For me, it’s changed how I think massively. Being a parent has shown me what’s important and what really matters when I have a bad day. There’s always a tomorrow and for each one that comes to see our baby boy grow, is something I’ll forever be thankful for.

The cries, tantrums, neediness, and seeing your baby unwell is hard, it’s tough. You feel hopeless because all you want to do is make everything better but I’ve learned that sometimes, just a cuddle and soothing Freddy with our voice is all he needs.

I’ve challenged myself mentally since becoming a mum for the first time. I wonder if I’m doing things ‘right’, especially in front of people. It has made me feel a little nervous at times, you know? Then I stop to think, I’m our baby’s mummy and we, as a family, know what he needs.

I’ve noticed that it’s harder to judge someone since becoming a mum. Sometimes, it comes no naturally to us, that you can do it without realising. It doesn’t even mean you’re not a nice person but I’d be lying if I said I’ve never done it before. I just feel as if I am more considerate of what someone might be going through, no matter how their life seems on the outside. And that counts for whether their child cries in public, isn’t acting their usual, or whatever. You also realise that not everyone has had a great night’s sleep.

I remember not knowing how to feel about the judgements of formula feeding versus breastfed babies. Let me tell you something, our baby had his 10-12 months check last week and the health visitor said, “He’s doing absolutely fantastic. I’ve heard words, I see he loves moving around and he is a very happy baby.” Day made.

Another huge thing – the role of parents as a mum and dad. I get it, mummy has a hard day but why isn’t there a lot of credit out there for daddies too? Everyone’s parenting experience is different, including when it’s for the first time. But I’ll be 100% honest, I couldn’t have imagined having a more loving and supportive man by my side, my Danny. It’s 50/50. I wouldn’t be the mum I am without Danny. Our son, Freddy, is a part of the both of us (even if he’s the double of his daddy). It’s our aim in life to give him our all. And when the tiredness hits, we know the other is there to help.

I’ve had days where I’ve felt alone but I know there’s other mums out there who will relate to this. I know some things are hard to explain. And through it all, it’s the most magical time of my life. In just over a couple of weeks, the baby I gave birth to, our handsome baby boy, will turn one year old. A whole year and more in our lives (including pregnancy).

Believe people when they say, “It goes so fast.”

three hanging teddy bears soft toys

20 Thoughts of a Mum with a Baby

I don’t think it took for me to be a first time mum, for my mind to work overdrive. I’ve always had a little mental check list for things that need to be done (or a long one as Danny would probably say). Here are some of the common thoughts I have on a daily basis since being a mum to our baby boy. When you read some, you might think I’m crazy but I know there’s at least one other person out there who can relate… here’s hoping anyway!

I also just want to say, dads, you are amazing too. There’s not enough credit out there towards you. I notice Danny’s love and support every day. He’s a parent too and that should never go unnoticed.

1. Oh no, how many bottles are left? Do I need to wash them and put them into the steriliser?

2. Whoa, baby’s washing basket is high again, I best do another wash.

3. Am I going to bother getting dressed today? Do I fancy a walk? Hmm… we’ll see.

4. Oh, you want another bottle? Can mama have another cup of tea in a minute or…?

5. Did I empty the dryer and maidens and put the washing away?

6. What’s for tea? Oh I dunno, we’ll figure it out later.

7. Do I need a cuddle? Food? Sleep?

8. I need a shower or a nice long bath with a bath bomb, salts, the whole lot!

9. I need to descale the steriliser again and change the filter in the prep machine.

10. Wow, this look I have going on today is… not attractive in the slightest.

11. I need to top up the toilet rolls on the shelf in the downstairs toilet.

12. I need to change our bedding this weekend.

13. How many Moses/crib sheets do we actually go through?!

14. Are we stocked up on formula, nappies, and wipes. For some reason we have hundreds of nappy bags.

15. Why don’t your (baby) clothes fit you anymore? You’re not allowed to grow just yet!

16. You are so precious. I love you more and more every day.

17. Do you really need to wee and poo so much in one day?

18. Daddy thinks any time is play time (and grandad for that matter).

19. I’m gonna keep wondering how long it’ll be until you will say dada and mama!

20. How did we make such a beautiful human being?

Mamas – how many of these can you relate to? What things continuously play on your mind? Or maybe there are some funny thoughts that go on in your head? Tell me in the comments below.

sheep soft toy

Things I have learnt during my first month as a mum

Our baby boy is 1 month old and oh my, it has flown by. We have experienced many things that no one tells you about when having a baby, especially when it’s your first. You know it’s going to be hard but many people don’t explain exactly why. Before you know it, your newborn baby is home with you and you’re there to figure parenthood out. It’s amazing how much you learn in your first month of parenting. You go from, “Am I doing this right?” to figuring each day out at a time and remembering that, you’re always learning.

One minute I’m giving birth and the next, I am taking a shower getting ready to go onto the postnatal ward. From the moment I left the delivery ward, I kept wondering, “What am I going to do now…?” When I arrived, I was greeted by a lovely midwife then our baby boy was placed into a cot beside my bed and that’s when it became very real. I obviously wasn’t alone because I was on hospital grounds but I was in the sense that, I became a mum for the first time and it was just me and our baby behind the curtain. I gave birth at 6.17pm and when the next morning arrived all I wanted to do was go home as a family. Luckily I could be discharged but it took a long while for my notes to be done which meant we didn’t leave until 10.30pm – 11pm. The first night at home was surreal.

Your baby has their own cues

When our baby cries, we now have a better idea if he is hungry, his nappy needs changing, if it’s wind, or if he just wants a little cuddle. Who doesn’t love a newborn cuddle?! At first, to me, baby’s cry was daunting if it lasted more than a minute. I felt the pressure of making his bottles in the night or if I couldn’t quite figure what he needed. However, now, between the two of us, we have a much better idea. A baby that is fed, clean, and loved, is happy unless there’s a sign that something else is wrong. We haven’t experienced anything as such on this side other than when Freddy has struggled to to bring up wind.

We also know the he is having a poo face. You might think, “Oh lovely!” but it’s actually good to know so we can prepare for what kind of nappy we are in for!

Babies wee and poo a lot

Everyone says it but until you have a baby of your own, you don’t realise just how much your baby needs their nappy changing. We don’t like to leave Freddy in a wet or poo nappy so we always check regularly. Nowadays, most nappies have the yellow line which turns blue to indicate that your baby has done a wee or poo. Any mums or dads to be reading this post, be prepared for your baby to wee on you (or like a fountain over your baby’s head if they are a boy). Also, don’t be surprised if your baby does their business again while you are changing them!

In the second week, Freddy was leaking through his nappies. We took all the advice onboard from midwives and the health visitor such as making sure the nappy is fitted properly – not too loose, up at the back, frills out to absorb more wee/poo, and ‘pointing it down’ etc. We tried several brands and learnt that more expensive nappies do not equal better quality/less leaks, at this stage anyway. We upped to Mamia newborn size 2 and it has been much better since. It’s so much easier now that we don’t have to clean multiple Moses basket sheets on repeat or change baby more so than you already do with a newborn as it is.

It’s okay to cuddle your baby

If you want to cuddle your baby a little longer sometimes, that’s absolutely fine. We all need love. When we hold Freddy close to us – his favourite place being on our chest – he gets to moderate his body temperature, feel our heartbeat against his and be comforted by his mummy and daddy. Cuddling our baby boy reminds us of all the love we have to give and we constantly stare at him to admire his ever-changing features, his growing legs, arms, hands, feet, and those cute little cheeks. After Danny has been to work, football or to the gym, or just nipped out to the shops, he comes home and wants to cuddle Freddy because he has missed him.

You don’t need to be the perfect parent

There are no points or rewards for being the ‘perfect’ parent. To be honest, does the ‘perfect’ parent exist? Aren’t all of us first-time parents in this together, finding our own ways? You learn that you eventually pick up ways of getting into the swing of things like prepping bottles, changing nappies, settling baby, changing their outfits and so on. Your baby needs warmth, nutrition, cleanliness and happiness. We have learnt that Freddy enjoys time to explore his senses too with shapes, noises, sounds, recognising mummy and daddy, tummy time etc.

To all of the parents to be or first-time parents currently wondering how they are going to survive the first month, you’ve got this! Don’t think there’s anything wrong to ask for help or a little company sometimes.

teddy bear looking at window

Thoughts as my Due Date Approaches

Featured image from pexels.com

Becoming a mum for the first time, for me, has brought the most exciting and heartwarming journey but little bits of worry are starting to creep up now. After speaking to a couple of friends and of course my Danny, they know it’s most likely down to the closeness of baby’s due date approaching. Little things are building up in my mind – some of which won’t even be a thought when baby is on the outside world no doubt. Here are some pieces of advice that I am going to let soak in and remember the next time I start to feel a little panicked.

Not everything can be done in a day!

This one is from myself. As baby’s arrival gets closer, I keep looking at things that are lying around the house upstairs because we are in the middle of having some things sorted out e.g. shower and retiling, paint tins in the room, bits of clutter we are waiting to be collected etc. Danny has done an amazing job with the decorating around the house. The only other main room to do now is the living room and small touching up around the completed ones. Once bits of furniture we don’t need anymore are gone, I’m sure I’ll feel much happier to see less clutter.

You’ll laugh at me right now because as far as baby is concerned, everything in place so I shouldn’t be so bothered but hey, it’s me. Another thing that bugs me is the constant sight of spiders. Yes, I know that sounds random but they are everywhere at the minute. I am going to try some peppermint oil and hope that does the trick. It’s one fear I don’t think will ever completely go away. I’m going to have more things on my hands soon to worry about, so I’ll have to try my best to ignore those creepy crawlies! Typing these things makes me feel pretty daft but it’s the truth.

You’ve got food, nappies, warmth, and a whole lot of love!

A lovely friend said this to me just this morning and she’s absolutely right. All of these little stresses I have at the moment will disappear once our little one is here. He is going to be so loved and bring a whole new light and level of happiness into our lives. I’ve got to stay as happy as I can to make him happy – that goes for today and once he is born.

It amazes me every day that we are brining a new life into the world. A baby boy, a son to call our own. When I take this piece of advice on board, it gets me thinking about his little face, what his little fingers and toes are going to look like, and when we look into each other’s eyes for the first time. This is such a special time and I am going to remind myself to cherish these last few weeks because as excited as we are, I know I’ll miss having a baby bump, watching him grow and wriggle around.

You’ve got me, everything will be okay!

Time and time again, Danny will say, “Tasha, do you really think I’ll let anything happen to you.” He tells me that we’re in this together and no matter what challenges come our way, we will face them as a team. Even though he constantly tells me he is right – guess what, he is right again! Danny has things on his mind too but he knows that the both of us will work together and give our baby all of the love in the world and that’s the most important thing they need.

Over the last couple of weeks, I have been chatting away to Danny to say, “What if I do this or that wrong?” or “What if I struggle in labour?” These are normal thoughts, right? If anything happens before I go into hospital, Danny will be here before I know it. Before the days we got together, he looked after me, and now he is there for me more than ever. Every bone in his body is full of love, support, and understanding (he has also picked up my foreign Tasha language really well!)

We’ve got this!

So, it goes without saying, I am bound to worry a little or a lot, just like any mum to be. But I can 100% say that I am looking forward to every moment to come. The cries, sleepless nights, and challenges with patience will hit for sure but it is going to be really worth it. For two people who have always wanted a child, there isn’t a single moment we will take for granted.