For many years, Danny and I have dreamed of having children one day. We haven’t been shy when talking about the subject, nor have we had conflicted options about how many and when. Throughout our relationship, we have talked about real feelings – including personal experiences, both happy and sad. We have grown to understand each other’s deepest insecurities, worries, upset, and we also visioned the things we see for our life together.
Our relationship isn’t a love story you see on TV or in the films, it’s ours, and that’s what makes us who we are. Our closeness is something that others can talk about but no-one knows how it feels other than us. Danny is the person who can light up any of my days no matter how bad it might have been. He is the one who holds me and reminds that it’s going to be okay. He is the one who on many occasions, I have looked out to the garden and imagined us with our child smiling and playing.
How do I put it all into words?
I don’t quite know how to describe it but I’ll try to explain it the best I can. The more I knew we wanted a child I began to take pregnancy tests whenever my periods were a little late. Now, this might sound daft as I have always been on contraception but I felt sad whenever the test revealed ‘not pregnant’. Due to some health issues and side effects, we decided the next move was to get the copper coil removed. This was a huge step in our lives to take and we knew it was our time to try.
Before I knew it, my period hadn’t arrived but we thought it could be another, “We will take a test and my period will arrive shortly afterwards! That particular weekend, I felt a little unwell. It was as if a migraine was attacking me in a way I hadn’t experienced for a couple of years. I didn’t think much of it and got some rest once I got home. Then there were other little things happening with my body which felt different. Being the eager person I am, I bought two pregnancy tests.
I can’t tell you how many tests I have done over the years. Both for ‘just checking’ reasons to ‘I wonder if we are pregnant’. On this day, I was staying calm and waited patiently. After a couple of minutes, something happened that I had never ever seen before. I looked towards the test and I seen 2 little pink lines. Am I… pregnant? I was in disbelief but couldn’t stop smiling. I had to tell myself to keep the hope aside and take another test for reassurance. And a few moments later, 2 pink lines again. I was amazed and couldn’t stop staring at both tests. My eyes began to water and I felt the warm, fuzzy feeling rushing through my body.
I took a deep breath and kept that glimmer of hope and I did another test, this time a Clearblue one. It didn’t take too long before the test digitally shown the word ‘pregnant’. Danny’s reaction was all part of the heartfelt moment too and he was the impatient one waiting for me to do another test. He immediately responded, “Seriously?!” with so much love and happiness in his voice, later to say, “I want to tell the world!”
We found out the amazing news in the very early weeks. This was one of the most special and standstill moments of our lives. Danny couldn’t stop smiling whenever he looked at me. I still keep looking at a little keepsake box we bought that have the tests inside.
Taking all of this in has been as still is, one of the most miraculous moments of our lives. No doubt, the rest of the journey will continue to feel this way. I think for me, the fact we are finally here had me feeling so emotional. Over the last 2 years, we have been through a lot, I have some health issues which Danny has supported me through. It turns out taking out all of the medications, having many appointments, and a procedure or two, and letting my body be its natural self, has given us one of life’s greatest gifts, a son or daughter who is growing inside me.
It didn’t take long for many symptoms to kick in which I won’t go into detail about but it’ll all be worth it for a our little bundle of joy who will enter the world in summer this year. I couldn’t ask for a more devoted and supportive partner by my side. My financé! I am going to have get used to saying that.
Everything is going well and baby is healthy. I have the best doctor and midwife looking after me. Everyone we have told has been so happy for us, even if most of our closest friends and relatives did cry.
The day of our baby’s first scan
Due to Covid, Danny wasn’t allowed to come to my NHS scan and this was really hard hitting, especially as it’s my first pregnancy. However, nothing was stopping us from experiencing the moment of seeing our baby together for the first time. We did some research and came across a place called private clinic called Window to the Womb in Salford. As soon as we read the reviews and I spoke to someone who had a friend that had been, our minds were made up. We emailed to be sure that I could bring Danny along. Once they confirmed I could, we went online and booked our appointment.
The day finally arrived. The scan appointment was later on in the day so we were counting down the hours. We kept ourselves busy throughout the day and before we knew it, the time had arrived. Once we got there and read some information, filled out some details etc. we were ready to go into the scan room. The sonographer was so lovely and made me feel relaxed. Everything went quiet, then a few seconds later, there was our baby on the big screen. The tears came strolling down my eyes, Danny squeezed my hand and we smiled together. This was one of the most surreal and magical moments. Ever since we got the video and photos, we can’t stop saying, that’s OUR baby.
For all of the years we have talked about and pictured starting a little family, it’s so special to see it all happening. Just a week later, a real little bump has appeared. The changes a woman experiences with her body is truly incredible. I am cherishing every moment and cannot wait to experience the rest of my pregnancy journey. Here’s to our little summer baby. We love you with all of our hearts.